The Love "Holiday"

I have to admit, that I...the woman who loves love so very much...is NOT a fan of the "holiday" they refer to as St. Valentine's Day. I know it technically is not even a holiday...but it is marked in red letters on pretty much every bought calender. And...did you know that there are actually 3 saints that went by the name Valentine?? They were all executed for being Christians. So, some how this day was originally meant to observe these men's lives and their life given in the name of Jesus. Technically, Valentine's Day then is meant to show our love and admiration for Jesus. ;o) Ha ha! Now, because there are way more non-believers than believers...St. Valentine's Day was changed to Valentine's Day and it became about honouring your lover...or, those that you love. This comes in the form of purchasing flowers and chocolate or diamonds and rubies...or whatever you think your "lover" will absolutely die for...and therefore save your butt for not being lovey enough the rest of the year. Kind of like how Christmas went from being a time of honouring the birth of Jesus...to becoming a day when you have to make purchases for everyone you know. That way they know you care about them. ha ha hahahahahaaaaa! What a funny world we live in.

It seems to me that every "holiday" on the calender has now become some day that you have to go and buy someone something, or else you are not a good person. Over the last 10 years or so I have been combating this in my own world. I would way rather create something for those that I love on Valentine's Day or Christmas or Easter or whatevs. Then it truly does come from the heart. But I also try really hard to make a conscious decision each and every day to show my love to those that I do love and care for. As this should be regular custom...don't ya think??

I will admit...my original hate on for this particular holiday...Valentine's Day, started a very long time ago. I was never one of those girls that had boyfriends. So all of my Valentine cards that I gave away at school were always for my friends...cause that is all I had...friends. (not something to complain about, I know) I was jealous even in grade 5 when Cathy Slobodian and Brooks Hamilton dated. They dated all the way into grade 7!! She got to kiss and stuff...wah! I felt like I just wasn't good enough for any boy to "fall in love" with. I kissed a boy, on the lips at church camp...Shawn Bullman. That was summer before grade 7 I think. We sent letters to each other for about 6 months after summer camp was over. He lived in Beausejour...me in Winnipeg. But I felt like he was my boyfriend for that short time. Then there was all 6 years of High School. Every single Valentine's Day...student council would sell single flowers to hand out to "secret" Valentine's all day long. When they would come to our class...my name was never called. Wow, what a way to make kids feel good about themselves. Let's set these kids up for heart break. Give the "cooler" kids something further to brag about. Another notch in my "I am so ugly, no boy will ever love me" belt. I would buy a flower to send out every year...who ever my crush was that year. I'd never sign my name...but they usually guessed it, I'm sure. But never said anything. I even crushed real hard on one of my brother's friends for years. Each year I would send him a secret rose to his house. (my dad used to sell cut flowers at his Greenhouse and did major roses for Valentine's) Of course David knew those came from me. But he never said anything. :o(

I just never thought I would EVER find true love. I had a boyfriend in grade 10...lasted 4 months. He was from another school. I dated another guy in grade 11/12 from my neighbourhood...that lasted 7 whole months!! He broke up with me saying I was not intelligent enough. Wowzas...that makes a girl feel good. :o( Another guy dated me for 4 months when I was 19 and living in my own apartment with my roommate Merritt. He dumped me too! Said he wasn't into it anymore...the day before he told me he loved me! Argh!!! Then, a year later I met Jody. Man he was an incredible handful. I think I would compare him to the Tasmanian Devil. But he said he loved me...I believed it. Didn't think anyone else would ever say it to me again. So, I married him...I was 22. Oh silly Pam. That lasted 2 1/2 years before I picked up my pride and walked out. No one deserves to be treated that terribly...NO ONE!

During that time, I knew Clint. We met the same day Jody and I met. At a Tragically Hip Concert in July 1995. Clint and I became fast friends. He was so easy to talk to...to look at too. He is a major babe! Well, our lives seemed to come together in 2002. In a most perfect way. I was head over heels for one of my best friends. How exciting. Everything seemed perfect. He was out of a terrible relationship...I was too. We both learned a lot from those bad marriages. Ours has by no means been perfect. We have had some major hurdles and hurtful days too. But the difference being...we love each other so strong and true that we were able to wade through the piles of heaping trash to get back to one another. And love one another more than ever before. I have the most loving man in my life. And I am grateful each and every single day for him. I love you Clint!! xxooxxxx

Last night we went and got some chicken and stuff to make a yummy dinner. A 4 litre pail of chocolate ice cream for desert. mmmmm. It was a fabulous dinner. We enjoyed each others company like any other night. as long as we have one another...we are happy. So cheers to love today, yesterday and fer sure tomorrow too! I love love.