Project 12:12 ~ Day One

I have been excited for a couple years now...excited for the year 2012...excited for the last month of 2012. To be quite specific...I have been über, over-the-top and outta my head ecstatically anxious for December 12, 2012. Why, you ask? Maybe I'll sound like a broken record to repeat it...but it will be the second time in my life to have a champagne birthday!! The first, was when I turned 12, on the 12th day of the 12th month. I remember the day quite vividly. Blizzard during the night of the 11th, total white out conditions for that night and the next morning...making my birthday slumber a near bust. But, to my absolute shock and amazement, my girlfriend Tara showed up. She came through...and her dad came through on getting her there through the crazy snow covered streets of Winnipeg. They had moved a year prior from Yellowknife, NWT...a wee little prairie blizzard wouldn't stop them. ;o) We built an igloo in my backyard that afternoon! hee hee hee.

Anyhow, last night as I was trying to fall asleep after being emotionally, intellectually and musically stimulated at the Gabriola Poetry Festival. (What an amazing weekend it was...so many talented poets out there. And we were blessed with a mere fraction of them...but oh, soooo good!) My mind was awake, flippity, floppiting with many random and some creative thoughts. One of my thoughts centered...well, orbited around me, and my upcoming big day. Coming in 295 days...to be exact. I thought of a fun project/challenge to try. Today seemed like a good day to start as there are a lot of two's in today's date. 02/20/2012...295 days away from 12/12/2012. Those numbers make me feel bubbly! Get to the point...all right. My project may not be original or even as witty as perhaps I would like it to be. But it still seems incredibly special and unique to me...we are all unique in our own ways, even creativity of our own has been inspired in our mind from a source outside of ourselves...so I am just going to go for it. And I am going to work VERY hard to make sure I stick to it...a photo a day. Yes...I know it as been done countless times before me. I am not the originator of the photo a day self portrait. What is a wee bit different with my project is that I will be taking my photo, each day, exactly at 12:12. (when Clint and I see that time...which we do on a nearly daily basis...we always say..."it's my birthday!") And this year it for real, real is...but with an extra 12 added to the end for that extra flavour flave. So, no matter where I be at 12:12 each day, I am going to take a snapshot of myself...whilst doing it, I will be taking in that moment, soaking it in my memory each and everyday and reflect on my life in a positive way.

Here I am today...at 12:12. We brought some more boxes to the new house and I unpacked more stuff. (oooooh, I am getting really stoked to move in next week!) Anyhow, I was just going out to the car to try and get Maggie to get out of the back seat and hang out inside our new home for a bit...it was 12:12...photo op!!!

Peace! xox

On the move...

I love it...I hate it...I stress about it...I savour every moment. Moving. The whole process does quite a number on my stress and anxiety and excited to the max levels. When we were first told that we had to move in the beginning of the year it completely stressed me out. We were leaving a few weeks later for Christmas vacation with the family and I was busy, busy creating my gifts for my 7 nieces and nephews...no time to think about where the heck we are going to find a new place to rent. And as if I would want to come home from Texas, late on December 28th only to get our butts in gear to move out on the 31st. Baaah...that would be so gross. Plus we had til March 1st, if needed. But that nagging feeling in the back of my head that kept poking me and saying..."what are you going to do Pam...where are you guys going to live? You have to be out of this place sooooooon!" Ugh...my mind loves to torment me forcing sleepless nights of dreaming about a new home but running around trying to find the right one and being left homeless in the end. Man can our subconscious really kick the heck out of us! I was looking at Craigslist rental ads and every other place I could think of while we were away to see what was available on our little island. And I was really hoping for something that was sweet and beautiful and sunny...and not run down with a hint of musty mold in each room. (Pacific Northwest is wet...especially on the islands...old wooden cabins get moldy...black moldy. not so goody.) Once we were back home and able to check out the available rentals...that is exactly what we were seeing. Run down places for rent. And anything that may have been good came fully furnished and was only short term rentals til June/July. (Oh the summer "residents") It was nearing the end of January and I was beginning to lose my mind. I was even trying to figure out if there was ANY possible way that we could get in the "I am a homeowner" market. But you need $$$ for that! lol

My Knightesses in shining armour came to my rescue. The lovely sister duo, amazing realty team of Carly and Robyn McMahon hooked us up with a new home buyer that bought his home for retirement purposes...which would happen in 10 years. So we could potentially rent this home for that amount of time...that sounds much better than having to move every year or two! Well, thank you Robyn and Carly...not only are you guys awesome women, talented artists, kick ass Realtors...you were the perfect middle women that brought a cool landlord and two fabulous tenants together. And I, for one, am truly excited for this move.

We get possession of the house at the end of the month. But...our new landlord has given us keys so that we have been able to start bringing boxes and furniture over throughout the month of February to make the transition easy peasy. (how cool is that? very cool! we already love our new landlord!) I enjoy doing it this way for a few reasons...1. I can reuse boxes as we (well, mostly Clint and so far our awesome Joelle and her muscles) haul things over and I unpack them...2. unpacking those boxes means that I don't have them to unpack after all is said and done...3. I can start arranging things as we go along and figure out the best way furniture works in certain spaces and yadda yadda yadda...4. I can do work and then reward myself with a bath in my new and perfect ocean view bathtub. (yes, my dream has come true...ocean view home...sweet bliss)...5. current home empties out making it very easy to clean as I go (I always leave a sparkling clean home for the next people...in this case, the house is going up for sale...so a good clean is good for appearance)...6. we can bring Maggie to the new place and get her used to everything (being the old lady that she is...new stuff can give her anxiety...we like to make it easy on her.)

It's all that I can think of these days...complete brain consumption. I am constantly dreaming of how sweet it will be to wake up in the morning and look out to the waves, the mountains and the cool tugboats coming and going and picking up and dropping off their long train of floating lumber. I am so excited to live in this new place. Have a home that is clean and newer and ocean view and deck space for entertaining and flowers and veggies and relaxation. I like new beginnings and that is what a move is for me. New digs, new furniture set up, new feng shui, new everything...I just want the time to go by fast because the butterflies in my stomach are going to start vomiting out of me like a stream of bats out of their dark cave at sundown. hee hee hee.

Here's a few snaps of our new ABODE...YES...I am terribly obsessed!!

 This is the view that I have whilst lying in the tub...Arbutus tree, ocean and mountain range. Plus, I can hear the eagles, sea gulls and cormorants speaking wildly to one another. What a way to relax my aching muscles! ;o)

This is Clint...hanging out on the deck off of the master bedroom (where the tub also is). I can not wait to have our little double swing chair set up and sip glasses of red wine while watching the sunset. Yes...this view is west...perfect sunsets each and every night. Maybe now our friends will visit us! lol

 Like I said...I have been unpacking boxes as I go along. I felt really excited to get my stemware out and start a cupboard. This is in the dining area right next to the living room (open concept), it is above what will be used as a "computer" desk. So I've got cookbooks on the left (kitchen side), reading books on the right (living room side), and party time in the middle! hee hee hee!

Oh how I love to set up a new home... :o)

Rant time again...

It happens to everyone, every once in a while. (maybe for some it happens far more than they would like...or allow "it" to affect them so greatly) I am speaking of outside negativity...a negative feeling from an external source that brings up burning emotions coming from deep within. Know what I mean?? Allow me to rant...that should explain exactly what I am talking about.

When I log into my blog, I can access a page that will show me "Stats" of the demographics to my blog. I check it out every so often, as I find it interesting...I love how the internet can bring people from ALL over the world together...in a way. ;o) Anyways...a few days ago I logged in and went to that page. I noticed a HUGE increase on the number of people checking it out. I was like..."what the heck? How in the world could that even happen?" Then I hit the "Traffic Sources" button to see what is going on there. I find a link to a page about amputees. And it is no informational page about "amputees", or having amputation or whatever...it is like a "porno" page of amputeeism. I only call it "porno" because it is a site where men (I'm sure for the most part...maybe some women too) can post photos, that they have found on the internet, of women with missing limbs. Eye candy for the people that go to that web site. They find these photos on women's MySpace or Facebook profiles...perhaps pictures on prosthetic constructors web sites...or just googling amputee.

I started to write this blog a week ago...so full of anger about the whole thing. I had to start again...the fire has been brought to a liveable level...for now. ;op It seems that these days, with the world wide web giving access to everything all of the time...I can not hide from the people who love to "use" my images for their obscene fetish. (I find it obscene because of the way they talk about the "amputee" women they locate on the internet, stealing their pics than posting them along with lude comments.) They will claim it is all out of admiration. It's bullshit. Yes, I will be blunt about it. It really infuriates me. These people...they call themselves devotees...have found my photos in the past from a MySpace page I had. Plastered them all about their site..."isn't she pretty?", "can someone find more photos of her?", "is she married?"...and blah, blah, blah. They talk about the "sexy stumps" on the women they hunt for. It's sickening. They are so disrespectful and oblivious to that fact. And I have had to make sure when I cancelled MySpace and entered into the world of Facebook, that my settings were on high privacy. And now...well, they somehow found my blog. I got them to remove my photos from their filthy site. I wish that I could make them take the site down somehow...the stuff they write about all of the beautiful women on there is sickening...they are sickening. But fetishes are not crimes unfortunately. And hurting someone's feelings and belittling them is also not a big deal...so they are allowed their thoughtless and discriminating site. It takes a long time for some women to accept themselves as they are, with their missing limbs. I know...it took me most of my life...I still have the occassional struggle...all because of people not understanding. Sad state of affairs that is. :o(

In the event that some "devotees" are still lingering on my blog...but, I am pretty sure most are gone, I say this anyways...pull your head out of your asses and open your minds just for a second here. One...I am not an amputee. I do not have a stump. I was born missing my right arm. It is how I am supposed to be. So there is no warped and scary story of how this happened. I do not need to be rescued nor taken care of...except for the care and love I receive from my husband, family and friends...all who love me for ME!! Two...I am not an object. I am a human being, born on the same planet as you and everyone else on this Island Earth ...we are all brothers and sisters just trying to live a fulfilling life, no matter how many limbs we have or the colour of our skin or our nationality. It's time to grow up and just love...love and let be. Three...maybe you should get out of your fantasy world and live in the real one. Smell the flowers, smell the crisp clean air that is the end of winter heading into spring. Life is beautiful...quit hiding in your rooms and posting pics of "disabled" women with which you would love to take advantage of. It just isn't right no matter how you explain yourself. Think about that for a moment. We are not animals.

One of the many reasons I decided to start this blog a few years back was so that people could read about the adventures and daily life of a "normal" woman. Yes, I have one arm...but I am exactly as every other woman on this planet. I have hurts and fears, joy and pains, excitement and curiousity, love and sometimes dislikes too. I love to get dressed up for the special occassions. I like to dress down most days in the event of dogs jumping up on me with dirty paws or sitting down on wet sandy beaches to enjoy the sun rays...or, if I am lucky get some gardening done. These things all make me happy. I want to be seen as everyone else...yet still enjoying my own uniqueness. And through my blog, I can show all of that. All the while getting things off of my chest! ;o) 

I am thankful for my life, who I am and who I am evolving into with every year of life that I am blessed with. I am surrounded by many lovely people whom I adore with all of my heart. I love my husband with every breath that my living body has...I will continue to love him in the next life...be that in heaven or in the next round here. ;op (I am pretty sure heaven it will be!) I absolutely love my family and am so grateful for their love throughout all of my life. For, I haven't always been a loveable character...the teen years were troublesome. Yet, my family never turned their backs. And I am so lucky to have as many crazy and amazing friends that I do have...for I am crazy too! I feel that to live a successful life, love is something that needs to be abundant...and I really do love love!

Even blurry love is fine! ;o)

Peace. xo

I can't write anymore...

Seriously...I just wrote a whole long blog for Clint...Trying to keep his blog updated. He is not really a fan of sitting at this desk and working on the computer. I will call him "old school"...in fact, when he was at the University of Winnipeg, he used to print (like, printing with a pen) out his papers in his Anthropology studies. That was, until his prof demanded that he at least type them. So he paid someone to do that! lol Oh how I love my man. ;o)

Anyhow...I wrote a blog for his blog about him...my hand and fingers are done with this work today...so go on and read that one. ;o)

CMcC and his Art!

What is stopping me???

Really...what IS stopping me from doing what I want to do each and every day? I am a person who believes in having (and wanting to have) a clean home, eating good meals and spending as much time as possible with her man. (of course, this is merely talking about the times when I do not have "obligations" other than just being at home and doing that thang...the home thang. I love my home time.) I love all the moments I am able to spend at home...I am definitely as much a home body as I am a social butterfly. I love being home and having all of my comforts around me...including Clint, Maggie and Wensday. But lately I feel like I could...maybe should be doing so much more. Not even so much lately, but I have pondered a whole heck of a lot in the past year of getting involved as much as possible in doing creative things in my life. A big part of me spending more time than usual "a ma casa" is because I try to stay away from anything that could possibly cause me a day, or days of pain. For real. I have had to stop doing as much "physical" things as I once would have. And that is a HUGE bummer. I am a strong and independent woman...I pride my self on that very fact. But this left arm of mine has a whole different story...she wants to take it easy. She wimps out on me and then decides to take a few days off of work to "rest up". That does not bode well with me. But I really like her and would like to keep her around AND useful...for at least the rest of my earthly life...so I do good to her. I take it easy...as much as I possibly can...being OCD and all. Anyways...I like to keep busy. I always have. And ever since I have had the joy of ceramics (playing and creating, using clay) in my life, I feel like a newly designed human being. I feel like there is so much inside of me that truly needs to come out of me...I just need to have a lump of clay set in front of my face daily so that I can get into the habit of spewing it all out. I will never be the one who creates some magnificent, fabulously unique and never seen before work of art...yet, I feel that I will make something that brings a smile and maybe even a giggle to my mouth and the others that see my "creation". 

I love cuteness. Cute things...like Bambi and Thumper bounding through the thicket, side by side, sniffing the flowers and coming nose to nose with...a sniffing daisy...no, Flower...the skunk! (I LOVE that scene!) I admit to being a Disney child. I grew up watching Disney cartoons and movies...like all of them. My first ever movie, in the theatre was "The Rescuers"...I don't even really remember being there...I was barely 3 years old. (my first Drive-"In movie was "The Empire Strikes Back"...I was 5. I TOTALLY remember that...sitting in the back seat of the Dart with my big brother, huddled under our cozy blankies.) And since then, I think I have pretty much seen every Disney cartoon...except for the ones made in the last 10 years. I have some major renting to do obviously. I love cartoon movies that have animals that talk and imaginations that come to life. Nothing wrong with good old fashioned fantasies. I would love to be 4" tall and hop from mushroom to mushroom and communicate with the squirrels in the forest...wouldn't you??? Rub a lamp and out pops a genie wanting to grant me any three wishes that I could come up with...oooooh...they would have to be good. ;o)

For all of these reasons and more, I am addicted to playing avec le clay. Spending time at Feedlot Studios and creating things I dream up. I have not yet reached the skill level that I would like to be at in the creative workings with a slab of mud. It isn't as easily brought to life as I thought it would be. Nor do I spend enough time trying to do the things I really want to create...I need to get out of my house more and step in the creative world that is Feedlot. Wondrous stuff come out of there. When you stick a creative Graphic/Web Designer (Bryan McCrae) with a genius Ceramicsmith ({Mariko McCrae}I have no idea if there is a proper name besides..."oh Magical One") you get the Feedlot Studios...a place where creativity does nothing but feed your brain and senses and you leave giddy and relieved. Seriously. I can not say enough about my love of ceramic indulgence and the wonderful Mariko bringing it over to Gabriola Island for all of us Islanders to feast upon.

Here I sit and rave about the blessings I have when it comes to a creative outlet in which I have always dreamed of. And yet, I spend far too much time in front of this box in front of me...I love the computer...I love the access to the world that it allows me. I love that everything that I need to get done, I can do on this thing. But I also love the fact that I can turn it off, get in my car and take a 6 minute drive to Feedlot and enjoy some great conversation, outbursts of laughter and some amazing creativity with everyone involved. (maybe even some hot sake!) What is stopping me from doing this more? I can do all that I want in life. I don't have to be scared that I am not good enough, as creatively blessed as others or even scared that no one will like what I have made. As long as I like it...that should be all that matters to me...right??? Right. 

It's okay to do what makes us happy. That is kind of what life is all about.

My latest "Bathtub Tray" just came out of the kiln. It is for my friend Genni. I am really happy with how it turned out. It's soooo cute!!!! ;o)

Peace out!!! ;o)

Speaking of winter greens...

On Monday, Clint and I started the "no wheat, no sugar, no dairy"...NO FUN diet. Basically, you eat a lot of greens and veggies and fruit and meat (if you are a carnivore...we are). Yesterday, day two of this new "diet", I was little Miss Grumpy pants. Like for real. I was just so easily annoyed by most everything...well most everything that Clint said to me. I just kept thinking that everything he said to me made no sense and that he was not thinking properly. Unfortunately, it is always him that gets the brunt of my bad moods...when I have them. I am generally a very happy, go lucky kind of gal. I smile a lot and try to bring smiles to others faces too...and perhaps coax them into a hearty laugh, I can be quite silly when I really want to be. Even when I do feel in a grumpy mood, I do it despite not really feeling like it. Although, I imagine some of my real close friends have gotten the "you love me no matter what" attitude I will give off when grumpy or in pain. But poor Clint...he will ALWAYS get it when I'm in that mood. (same for him too...his grumpiness is fully reserved for little old me...ain't love grand?) So that was day two of no anything that I love...bread, chocolate, chips, cheese and most importantly, red wine! I was a basket case. At least I warned him that I was feeling agitated and frayed in my nerves. No sugar high for a couple days will do that to you I guess. Today is a much better day. I feel pretty good...I even feel lighter. (I won't weigh myself though...I can feel it in my tight jeans that feel a little looser today...that's all I need to know.)

Quite a few of my friends have done this change in diet specifically to lose weight...and loss of pounds did happen for them. They look and feel good. I have been trying for a year or so to convince Clint to try this "new" eating habit with me. He was not into it at all. He has been complaining about weight gain for like ever...perhaps it is getting older, maybe less exercise, maybe more snacking...maybe it's because we have had cable for the last few winters!! ha ha ha!! Whatever the reasons, he has not been happy with his weight. I am not one to boast, my metabolism has definitely started to slow since I have been in my mid thirties...boo! And this past Christmas in Texas, I added about 8 extra pounds to my slowing and growing body. (my parents have a new and improved fan-dangled digital scale...why did I step on it??) I too am the heaviest I have ever been in my life, so I wouldn't mind shedding about 10-15 pounds...get back to my "normal" weight...at least to a body feeling that feels good. No Belly!!! Anyways...a Facebook friend recently posted that she started this "diet" with her husband who has gotten too fat (her words not mine...lol). She wanted to be supportive and join him in his efforts of ridding himself of the spare tractor inner tube attached to his waist. In return, she found that not ingesting gluten and sugar and dairy helped her and her joint and muscle pain. On her weekly "cheat" day, she noticed more inflammation again. Who knew that gluten had anything to do with joint inflammation?..not me obviously!

I suffer from chronic pain...I am in pretty severe pain on a daily basis. The only positive side to pain being chronic is that you are used to feeling that and you just deal with it. I have tried everything from massage and physio to painkillers (including prescribed narcotics) and even Botox injections into my affected muscles...nothing helped me. Massage feels really good during the session and I feel good for about 4 hours afterward, then it fades. Physio...well, the exercises just irritate my already pained and inflamed joints and muscles. Good old painkillers, the strong and sometimes addictive "evil" kind like Dilaudid and Oxycontin...even Morphine, they did nothing but make my head foggy and stomach nauseated...NOT a good feeling. And then the Botox...the first few times I had the injections, I got relief from the tightness and pain that I felt all up in my neck, shoulder, arm and upper back. That stopped. I would get my injections (30 different spots) and it just wouldn't work anymore. Botox is supposed to paralyze the muscle that it is injected into, therefore easing and tension and easing my pain. It stopped doing that. Medicinal marijuana can take your mind off of the pain and allow to function better in your day...but the pain is still there at the end of day making for sleepless nights. Argh! I am really hoping that this meal change gives me relief of some of my pain and inflammation. And me bringing up the fact that this could potentially help me in this effort is what finally convinced Clint, who is now a firm believer in it all, to start it with me. I haven't noticed any difference yet in that respect...but I sure do feel good. I am not bloated and full. My belly feels good. I will say that the extra veggie in my diet does cause a little more "gas" to come out of me...that may settle. Whatevs...;op Clint calls this diet the "hunter/gatherer" meal plan. I like it! We'll keep on it for a couple of weeks at least and see how things turn out. My tummy looks flatter already, only on day three...that is a positive sign of things to come I feel.

Bring on the indoor greens...spinach, bok choy, broccoli, yummy salad. Outside greens...well, we just got a dump of snow overnight. It's a winter wonderland out there right now. :o)

Winter greens...

I like winter. I am not a fan of the cold or anything like that. I just enjoy the winter time. Lighting up the wood stove so that the house is warm enough to walk around in a t-shirt and bare feet...if I so choose. The hermiting is nice too, because of the cold, I just want to be in my own home...or maybe in a friends warm abode and sipping some nice herbal tea (or sipping wine...that also keeps me warm). I like the white and wonderful snow too...but not for as many months as it normally is around when living in the Prairies. I mean...nothing against the Prairies, I AM a huge and loyal fan of the beauty that is there. I just really enjoy the winters out here on the West Coast. The bright and rich greens that cover everything during the winter months is definitely something to behold. I remember my first year living in BC and being pleasantly surprised that there was no snow that day I arrived in late January. I had just driven out of Winnipeg two days earlier...leaving behind a whopping -27 degrees and the start of a blizzard. Highway #1 was killer that day...I lost sight of the road many times due to "white out". (I for sure do not miss those kind of driving conditions...SCARY!!!) That morning, on January 24, 2000, I drove from just east of Kamloops (stayed in a teeny roadside cabin that beckoned me off the road after a long day of mountain, snowy, scary driving) to Vancouver in an epic 4 hours. I was so excited to get to the final destination and a fresh new start in the life of Pam...West Coast Pam. ;o) It was actually +12 degrees in Vancouver that day. Pretty strange for the middle of winter...but what a delightful welcome. I was impressed by the green everywhere. It's January! What the heck...where is the snow man? I guess I left it all behind. Wow. I was definitely not used to it. And I also was not used to the wet weather that followed. It may be green and lush all winter long, and that is because of the rain that keeps coming down each and every single day. A lot of grey skies and rain drops in the winter out here. It took me a few years to get used to. +5 in January can feel like what -20 is like in good old Winnipeg. It's true what they say...that dampness gets right through you...into your bones. No parka will keep you warm when your body has it's inner thermometer set to a dry cold.

Well...now I really love it. Grey skies and all. I love going for walks on the beach or in the forest. I still feel the chill...but that is nothing a quick footed pace won't cure. Maggie really loves the forest walks. The soft dirt under her old and weary toes is so cushiony and soft. She actually gets to running when we are in the forest trails...her teeter totter run of course. Oh, old lady Maggie May...you breaka my heart! (in a good way of course...her cuteness can be overwhelming at times.) It was a chilly walk today...temperature is around -2...(time to get my wood stove fired up!) Anyhow, the green felt so fluorescent to me today. It was nice to do the forest loop walk and see all of the moss hanging from the trees, the salal and fern covered forest floor. Sooooo beautiful. Stop and smell the freshness! I didn't stop for too long as I needed to keep warm. But I managed to take a few pictures before needing to put my ice cold hand back in the warm pocket of my winter jacket. Maggie loves this weather...she sits out on the deck just taking in all of the scents this green winter wonderland has to offer.

 

 

So...where should we walk tomorrow? ;o)

The Arbutus is a mighty tree...Arbutus was a friend to me

I find it absolutely amazing, the presence that one animal can have in our lives. Of course, the ones that live in my home seem to have a great abundance of presence plus a huge slice of Pami heart...but it's even the "outsiders" that have a great affect on me. Pretty much any animal that I come across already has my full attention. I always allow them to take in my scent first...then I go in for the touch. The ear massage, back pat, belly rub, cheek to cheek...even face lick if they feel like it. (THEM licking, not me! ha ha) I am a lover of the animal...the pet...the four legged, 2 legged, winged or scaly creatures both great and small. I love them all.

Right now, my mind is on Arbutus...such a good boy. Handsome and proud, clever and trustworthy...Arbutus was the best of the best when it came to cool Hound Dogs. I met him a few years back when we first moved to Gabriola. What a fine dog he was. Sitting proudly in the front seat of his dad's big blue truck. Dashing old fella! Arbutus...perfect name. An Arbutus tree is an amazing and unique evergreen. The leaves are thick and waxy and dark emerald green...the leaves fall off as new ones regrow. It is ALWAYS green. It produces a cluster of small waxy, white flowers that have a sweet scent...they turn into red berries, that are supposedly edible...I've never tried. (Look up Emily Carr paintings and you will see her whimsical version of their majestic splendour.) Anyhow...it is an awesome tree...Arbutus was awesome too. 

When we moved into our current residence, Arbutus was our neighbour...well, the dog of our neighbours. ;o) (Best neighbours ever...and awesome friends!) In the beginning, he was quite non-chalant towards us. His owners advised us he was just a bit of a snob and would probably only want one thing from us...FOOD! We used to get the "Hey, who are you and what are you doing here?" barks from him when we would leave or come back home from elsewhere. Not too long later, he was coming over whenever he would notice a presence on our front deck. He would just start running over...not to say hi, but to get at Maggie's food. Of course. But I do know that deep down inside he loved the affection he received from Clint and I and Maggie and Wensday too. Our entire household loved Arbutus...his long wobbly legs, big jowls, shoestring saliva and determination to get snacks from all of us. 

One of my favourite Arbutus moments happened this past August. We went away on our cross country (half across country...BC to Pinawa, MB) adventure, camping through the mountains with Maggie May and enjoying the beautiful, ever changing landscapes that our huge country offers. Oh Canada...how I love thee! The three of us were gone for two weeks. Two weeks must seem like a pretty long time to a dog who ages 7 years each birthday...in my own calculations I come up with it being 182.5 days. That IS definitely quite a long time for someone to be on vacation for. And, supposedly each and everyday that we were away, Arbutus came over to the house looking for us...looking for food. ;op The day we arrived home and drove down our driveway, Arbutus saw our white car and made a bee line for us. It was really cute. He was old...almost 15...hence his wobbly legs. (his back legs walked a slow speed whilst his fronts were double timing it...so cute!) He ran so fast to our parked car that I thought for sure he was going to tumble head first right into it! I believe that this was the first time I knew, without a doubt, that Mr. Arbutus really loved us. It warmed my heart, and I was happy to be home and have him over for his daily visits.

Sweet old man howled his way to heaven this past Monday. It was time for him to leave his earthly body and move on up to the mansion in the sky...where biscuits are made out of T-Bone steaks and fresh water streams are in abundance. I am 100% sure that one of the toughest decisions to ever make is when you know that the right thing to do at the right time is to put your animal down. I feel animals are lucky in that sense. We can let them go with dignity...we can let them go before they lose all function and sense and spark for life. (as humans we can be completely deteriorated and be hooked up to a million machines that are "living" for us...and yet we still go on. That's a whole big debate and can of worms I don't even want to get into. I just think that it is nice that we have the ability to lovingly say goodbye to our best friends. I've had to do it a few times in life...it never gets easier. And that is how the mighty Arbutus went on Monday around supper time. I knew when the vet arrived, and I saw when he left. My heart was aching for my friends next door. For I knew the pain and heartache that they were experiencing. If Clint and I were shedding tears...I could only imagine the rivers that were flowing 100 feet over. Such a good mom and dad they were to Arbutus. He was a lucky ducky to live in a loving and warm home. Minutes after the vet drove away the wind picked up in our little "fishbowl" that our homes are situated in. Wind so strong, picking up leaves and swaying the trees with a strength so magnificent...in an instant, it was calm. I know that was Arbutus saying good-bye. He was good that way. I miss him. 

 Familiar sight...Arbutus at our door. ;o)           
   











We got Arbutus into our car one day and brought him to the beach...we had a fun time. So did Arbie!

Yesterday when I was leaving the house and walking to the car I almost stepped in a big old piece of poo...Arbutus poo. What made my little heart melt was the fact that his huge footprint was left in it. :o) Oh Arbutus...you will be dearly missed. RIP good buddy! xox

(dedicated to Trevor and G...I love you guys!)