Up until about my 25th year, I was a pushover. (I pretty much still am, yet I am able to at least question that which I am being pushed towards and even at times NOT do what someone is expecting me to do for them even though I am not into it...get it? ha ha ha! Wordy.) In calling myself a pushover, I am merely stating that I have a REAL hard time saying no. I like to make people happy...and if that requires me to do something I have no desire to...I often have been seen doing it, for someone else of course. hee hee. When I was 25, I made a huge, life altering decision...I left my husband. Our relationship was incredibly tumultuous...and I just could no longer be the piñata that he had grown to love to beat down. So, West I went. That was one of the very first times I decided to make my own decision...to do what I felt was best for me at the time. I did it sheepishly though, I left my home town without word to any of my family. I filled up my car and the U-Haul roof rack and to BC I drove. My reasons for keeping it secret (I did tell my work of course...I had to quit) were so that I would not have to listen to some telling me to stay and work it out. For, in my mind I had done everything that I could think of to make my marriage a happy one, to be the best housewife I could be, loving, nurturing, a great cook, look sexy and most of all tried so hard to stop the abuse. (to the women out there in an abusive relationship....he will NOT stop hurting you...you NEED to walk away, no matter what.) Anyhow, I left. I felt amazing. I felt strong. I felt independant...I felt powerful. THAT gave me fervour to keep telling it like it is.
I fully believe in making your feelings known if someone has hurt you, in any way, emotionally, physically, whatever...I think it is up to you to let that person in on your feelings. This is what I have been doing since that fateful morning I left Winnipeg behind...in a flurry of ice and snow and waaaaaaaaay too cold winds. (-27 that morning) So, it should all be good...right? No. For I surely have made some blunders in my "Hurt Feelings Proclamations". The real lesson there, that I have finally opened my eyes up and took notice of, was that I should NEVER try to explain my feelings via email. NEVER!!! (always take the time to go and see the person face to face.) The only reason I ever decided to write someone in one of these situations is because I would be too embarrassed to actually say it for real to that person...fear of them being angry with me for being hurt. Oh my. So, I felt it easier to allow my feelings to flow when I could hide behind my computer. Easier maybe for me...but those words to the one reading it can be confusing. There is emotion behind the words, but that emotion gets lost and warped through black & white letters. It will always come out wrong. Therefore causing a whole new ball of gross stinky ear wax that you were trying to avoid in the first place. All you can do after that is apologize. And NEVER do that again. Some people will forgive and forget...that is how we should all be. We all make mistakes...apologize for them. Humble yourself and let others know that you do in fact feel bad for what you said or did. Now, it is off of your conscious....you did right in the end. If you are not forgiven...that is not your baggage to carry. Let it go and keep on keeping on. Life is too short to carry grudges and hold resentment towards anybody. Who cares that Stephen Harper is a terrible Prime Minister...he will not always run our country...let it go. (just a little example...there is alot of boiling blood over him...and what does that help? We just got to be strong and united and know that Canada is in fact an awesome country and we will get back on track again one day...with a new Prime Minister.) ;o) I know...sooooo off topic! hee hee.
So that is my life lesson of today. Share your feelings face to face with people. Apologize when you have hurt someone, forgive when someone asks. Then you should have no negative neurons bouncing around that head of yours...those are bad ones...get rid of them. Clear your mind and life will be fine. On to next lesson.... ;o)
Ay yi yi...I've got to catch up on my 12:12 photos. Life has been EXTREMELY busy for me these past few weeks. I seem to never have much time to just be at home chillin'. But it is all good...I am involved in the Musical "The Cult of Brother XII" that will be playing this August in the Dodd Narrows room of the Nanaimo Conference Centre on Commercial Street. (tickets available at the Port Theatre Box Office or at Fringetastic ...only $10!!!) I have been enjoying the process immensely...working with a stellar cast and a director that is smart, funny, ummmmm loud and VERY talented! ;o) Can't wait for it to be on stage!
|Saturday July 7 12:12 pm Sitting on the "upper deck" chatting with JoJo Darling about picking me up for rehearsal for the musical. She plays Freddy, the lesbian reporter. (it is set in 1929...she is very progressive for her time)|
|Monday July 9 12:12 pm Watering all of my flowers and veggies. I love the HOT PINK Cosmos. So pretty! They LOVE the brightness of the sunshine...me too! (it was my Niece Elona's 9th birthday too...Champagne birthday...yay!! Love you Elona!)|
|Tuesday July 10 12:12 pm This pic makes me laugh actually...and it's not just cause of my silly 'Cartman' smile. I am standing on the deck of our last rental. We used the empty house for some rehearsals...like this day. The house is for sale right now...nice sunny spot if you want to live on a beautiful island! ;o)|
|Wednesday July 11 12:12 pm Hee hee. I like this photo...Antony was on the phone and I was taking photos. He thinks I am pretty silly...well, I am! I enjoy the time I spend with Antony each week. I help him with some "office" type work and I get to hear stories from the way way olden days forward and just get to hang with an incredibly sweet and funny man. Antony is 92 years old and still writing shows that he can perform in front of audiences all over. You rock Antony! ;o)|
|Friday July 13 12:12 pm Brother XII rehearsal at The Surf. ;o) This is my mask for the "Media Scrum" scene. We play a group of news hounds trying to get the scoop from Doris Abercrombie, Senior Journalist at the Gulf Islands Gazette! ;o)|
Here is Clint and his finished pole. Very cool pop art pole! After he finally got the sun and it's beams right in white...I painted it in yellow! My arm is STILL sore from doing it...but it was fun and exciting to be a part of this community project. Yay Gabriola!! ;o)
|Monday July 16 12:12 pm Tinson Point time...it's Larry's favourite beach to go to. He has an affection for the clam shell...they may be empty, but he is enamoured by them...they must still have some "presence" to them. Larry digs a moat around them...it is hilarious to watch. We are thinking maybe the barnacles that live on the shell are speaking to him...taunting him...watch it. ;o)|
|Tuesday July 17 12:12 pm He's glowing! ;o) I actually think that he is...on the inside and it is coming through. We spent some time responding to emails regarding his show "One Man in His Time" that he recently wrote and perfected on stage for an intimate audience...no more than 250. It is his story of his time in the "Desert War" of WWII between 1940-1943. This was in Egypt and Libya...a lot happened there during the war...I did not know that before seeing Antony's show. Tears, laughter and pure enjoyment I got out of it. If you keep an eye on this page...performance dates and places will be shown.|
|Wednesday July 18 12:12 pm Loading the kids in the truck and heading to le beach! Got our water and treats and bright orange floaty ball. Sorry Maggie....we forgot your umbrella. ;o(|