Saturday, February 25, 2012

The three wieners...

Day 6 into my journey...249 days away from the extra special, once in a lifetime...second champagne birthday!! ha ha ha!

I got to watch the wiener dogs today...all three of them. Their momma and poppa have gone away and they were going to be alone today. I like them...Maggie likes them...they like Maggie...they like me. It's a win win situation all around. Six hours of chillaxing with the wieners, Maggie and some clay...yep, I got to play avec la clay. It's fun when you can just listen to some music and mold, shape and carve objects that make you feel excited. I get excited when I am making something. I imagine the colours that I will glaze it..think about using it or someone maybe using it and getting a smile on their face when they see it. I have been trying to make functional art out in ceramics to maybe sell at the Crafted Booty "Spring Fling" this Easter. Been making garden/herb stakes...so cute! And now I am onto some planters (for cacti) and spoon rests with an attitude. (nice, nasty, flirty or sweet 'tudes) So, for instance...if I had a pretty little pot that had some fuzzy green dill weed growing in it with a little handmade ceramic stake, all colourfully glazed up...I would feel happy just looking at it. Seriously. That little inanimate object would bring a smile to my face and I would be super excited that it was in my potted dill. I am very visual...but my visual tastes all over the place. I enjoy the bright and loud colours of childhood fantasies and rainbows, but I love neutral looking and sleek lines of a modern piece of furniture...I LOVE the look of dried old wood and the wear of many years of separation from it's living foundation. I am very thankful for my sight...even when I can't see properly. If I take off my glasses and look at street lamps or bright lights, they have an aura. An aura you can't see with 20/20 vision...four eyes may not be all that bad after all!

Anyhow, I spent a lot of time playing with the three crazy wiener dogs today. At exactly 12:12 I was being mauled while lying on the floor of the studio, letting the dogs run all over me...they love it!
That is Rodney in motion...Mr. Pickles waiting for his moment to surprise attack and lick his stinky breath all over my face. Maggie, in the background, unimpressed. Angus...well, I think he was already sick of the jumping game and went to have a lie down by the wood stove. Oh, you sweet wieners! :o)

whoops...now I am a time cheater...

I can't help but be completely distracted...it's an excuse and I am sticking to it. Who's going to call me on it? Perhaps anyone who may be reading this...but really, what'cha gonna do about it? ;op ha ha ha ha!!!

I was totally prepared to remember the time yesterday. To have my camera with me at the ready for the clock to hit 12:12. I did not wear my special watch...no...I knew that I would be near a big clock so therefore not need the watch for that particular day. Alas...my day started off VERY different than what I had imagined, even planned out in my head the night before as I tossed and turned and saturated my brain with thoughts of the move. Even thoughts of where some of my special knick knacks may look "perfect" in the new place. (I seriously can not wait til the week of March 4th, when we are settled and rocking it.) I was speaking on the phone, with my good friend Joelle the night before last about wanting to move all of our deck contents to the new deck yesterday morning. Being the amazing, awesome, sweet and helpful friend that she is...she offered her services...her two mighty strong hands and her hatchback. When I awoke yesterday morning...it was raining...not the typical soft misty rain. It was like coming down in big huge drops, convincing Maggie as she peeked out the front door to not even dare to go out for her morning wander. (she hates to get wet) We drove to pick up Veronica's truck and some of these massive rain drops had substance in them...almost causing them to be a solid "drop". What? Is it going to snow? I think there were some snow fall warnings in Vancouver...thankfully, it did not snow here. But it rained on all three of us as we loaded the truck with soggy, water drenched potted plants and planters...all of my "collected" pieces of beach wood...chairs and big umbrella. It wasn't a fun time...it wasn't a terrible time. We laughed and joked while being water puked on from above...we got it all moved. (except for the BBQ) In Joelle's car we brought a few more boxes and the rest of our paintings from the walls...can't wait to have them hung up on the new walls. And I especially can not wait to see my beautiful "Marilyn" staring out to the sea. Her soft pink background and light blue feathery boa will suit the living room perfectly...she'll reflect all the blue from the sky and wavy waters outside. (the real Marilyn actually used to come to this area.there is a little island called Wallace Island...she would go there to spend time in the summers. I believe she filmed a movie there and that is how she discovered the paradise...I WANT to go there too!)

It's strange living in a home that is nearly empty. Most of our furniture, aside from that we sleep on and keep our clothes in, is at the new place. I really just want to be able to stay there now. We get to do the full on move in move day on Monday. Seems to far away for me! I can stay on the computer or watch TV til all hours of the night, these days. My mind is a racing, I tell ya! I wake up early too...I just can not sleep. It's all good. But, I forgot my 12:12 pm photo. I was at Woodfire Pizza with Joelle and Clint enjoying a "gluten free" pizza and peppermint tea. The would have been a nice picture! Well, it didn't happen, obviously...I did my first (hopefully last) cheat and took it at 12:12 am. Technically today...but it was the end of my yesterday. It counts.

Just starting to get a proper cuddle on to get to dozing. Goodnight Wensday...Clint was snoring before I woke him up coming to bed, turning on my lamp to take a picture. Ha ha ha!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

ahhhhh...and day four.

Ahhhhhhh...I can barely even type the letters to this post to even do what I need to do. Well, at least what I feel I need to do. I decided that one of my challenges this year would be to do this daily diary at 12:12 each and every day. Then get to my computer as soon as possible to post what it was that I was up to during that specific minute of the day. I suppose that if I forgot to do this task...taking a photo diary of the specified time of day, I could then wait til 12:12 am and call it the same. But, technically, the 12:12 am which happens after the 12:12 pm is in fact the next day. So therefore...I would have missed my time for the proper photo op...for it to be consistent, at least. And I feel the need to be consistent and precise. The thing is...I don't wear a watch...ever. I don't really pay attention to what time it is...unless, of course I see a clock. But time doesn't make a difference to me. I like it that way. 

I did in fact, find a watch in my jewelery box...a watch I knew I had, but had almost forgotten about. It was my Opa's watch. It's an old Timex that he wore every day. I didn't even think it would work. I haven't worn it since maybe about a year or two after his death...he died on October 24, 1996. Man, that is quite a while back now... (I loved him so...I miss him immensely) memories are just flooding into my memory right now. It's amazing how much the mind can hold onto...I can think back all the way to childhood when Oma and Opa lived across the road from us in St. Vital. They moved to North Kildonan (this is all in Winnipeg, MB) in 1978 if I remember correctly. Yet, I remember them living there like it was yesterday...sigh. Anyways, I put the elastic linked watch on my wrist and looked down at the face of the watch and voila...it started ticking! I wound it up and set the correct time. Now, I have a watch...a great watch. My Opa lives on forever...on my wrist! ;o)

I have to stop typing...its killing me...seriously. Too much doing of things lately, packing, cleaning, unpacking and sleepless nights...I am exhausted in any way my body and mind could be. Blech! But I got to "Keep on Keeping on!" And I will. We took Maggie out for a nice walk today, as a break from the "Pack" before bringing some more boxes to the new place. Sandwell is awesome beach walk when tide is low...it's a long sandy beach and Maggie loves to run up and down. It's soft on her old lady paws. (Got to get out to Long Beach, Tofino and let her have some real fun! She LOVES it!) We walked down the stairs to the beach, all the way up the beach and then back up the steep hill to the parking lot. It's a good hike...my legs feel it...I bet Maggie's do too. ;o)

C'mon guys...we're almost to the top!
In a perfect shot...Clint's head would not be cut off. But I like Maggie's "I am so pooped" face. It's what mine looked like too! hee hee hee.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Jour Trois...

Today ended up being a gorgeous and sunny day...out of the ordinary for what we have been getting lately...lots of grey. Everyone was out and about and enjoying the vitamin D...glorious! ;o)

Where was I at 12:12 today...not out in the sun at that exact moment...but I was surrounded by bright and shiny things that also made me feel happy. Gabriola Artworks...in the heart of "downtown" Gabriola. Where you can find locally made art...jewelry, pottery, photography, paintings, soaps, cards, carved wood. A lot of the talented artists living here sell their wicked cool works dans le beautiful shop/gallery de la Artworks. They even will sell you the finest of coffees (Gabriola Coffee) for you to sip on and browse the two levels of the gallery. If you are on the island...Artworks is a definite MUST see. I love being in there...it fills me with creative energy. ;o)

At 12:12, I was admiring the jewellery of Kate Wood and the feather earrings and dream catchers of Genni Cooper. Two of my fabulous friends that make fabulous stuff! I love living on the Isle of the Arts! ;o)

XOX

p.s....I promise to get more creative with my photos...too preoccupied in my mind with the impending move...

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Day Two de la project.

As much as I am loving the gradual move in, I am also finding it quite exhausting. I am not complaining about it all by any means. It is just that each and every morning when I get out of bed I am deciding what I am going to box up and take over to the new place that day...how much should we bring...what for sure NEEDS to stay in our present home that we would miss if it were in the empty place?? It's also pretty much the last thing on my mind as I fall asleep each and every night...that AND imagining everything that I will do to the next place decorating wise and how I'll love to have a bath most nights and how I can't wait to wake up to the ocean and be ever so grateful to have it in my sights. ahhhhhhh...too much to think about! ha ha ha.

At 12:12 today I was at the new place with Maggie May...watching the tugboats bring a huge line of floating logs and place them in the waters below me for the next tug to come and haul it away. We waited for the "boys" to come with a load of heavy things. (another thing I am grateful for...friends who call you up to see if you need some help bringing stuff over because they have the vehicle to do so. {Clint and I both find it difficult to ask for help...we will often try and move just the two of us...has been done...Clint lifted our 130 lb 6' long couch all by himself!!} And Mitch Mitchell...he was da man today...offering up his truck and muscles to help with some more big items...YAY Mitch...Love you!!) Anyhow, I turned my view from the Tugboaters below to see my sweet Maggie lying on the couch...she just oozes cuteness and pure love. Walking over to her, I glanced at the oven clock in the kitchen and saw the fluorescent numbers shouting 12:12 at me. My camera was in my back pocket in anticipation of the exact moment. We are both tired looking in this pic...but happy to know that we are together in this move up and around the corner from where we are presently. We joke that Maggie will walk back here to visit our neighbours...she loves them...we do too. ;o)

Maybe I'll go back tonight and have a nice and relaxing bath. Calgon...take me away!

p.s. look at all of the one's and two's in the date and time today...heehee heeeeee!

Monday, February 20, 2012

Project 12:12 ~ Day One

I have been excited for a couple years now...excited for the year 2012...excited for the last month of 2012. To be quite specific...I have been ├╝ber, over-the-top and outta my head ecstatically anxious for December 12, 2012. Why, you ask? Maybe I'll sound like a broken record to repeat it...but it will be the second time in my life to have a champagne birthday!! The first, was when I turned 12, on the 12th day of the 12th month. I remember the day quite vividly. Blizzard during the night of the 11th, total white out conditions for that night and the next morning...making my birthday slumber a near bust. But, to my absolute shock and amazement, my girlfriend Tara showed up. She came through...and her dad came through on getting her there through the crazy snow covered streets of Winnipeg. They had moved a year prior from Yellowknife, NWT...a wee little prairie blizzard wouldn't stop them. ;o) We built an igloo in my backyard that afternoon! hee hee hee.

Anyhow, last night as I was trying to fall asleep after being emotionally, intellectually and musically stimulated at the Gabriola Poetry Festival. (What an amazing weekend it was...so many talented poets out there. And we were blessed with a mere fraction of them...but oh, soooo good!) My mind was awake, flippity, floppiting with many random and some creative thoughts. One of my thoughts centered...well, orbited around me, and my upcoming big day. Coming in 295 days...to be exact. I thought of a fun project/challenge to try. Today seemed like a good day to start as there are a lot of two's in today's date. 02/20/2012...295 days away from 12/12/2012. Those numbers make me feel bubbly! Get to the point...all right. My project may not be original or even as witty as perhaps I would like it to be. But it still seems incredibly special and unique to me...we are all unique in our own ways, even creativity of our own has been inspired in our mind from a source outside of ourselves...so I am just going to go for it. And I am going to work VERY hard to make sure I stick to it...a photo a day. Yes...I know it as been done countless times before me. I am not the originator of the photo a day self portrait. What is a wee bit different with my project is that I will be taking my photo, each day, exactly at 12:12. (when Clint and I see that time...which we do on a nearly daily basis...we always say..."it's my birthday!") And this year it for real, real is...but with an extra 12 added to the end for that extra flavour flave. So, no matter where I be at 12:12 each day, I am going to take a snapshot of myself...whilst doing it, I will be taking in that moment, soaking it in my memory each and everyday and reflect on my life in a positive way.

Here I am today...at 12:12. We brought some more boxes to the new house and I unpacked more stuff. (oooooh, I am getting really stoked to move in next week!) Anyhow, I was just going out to the car to try and get Maggie to get out of the back seat and hang out inside our new home for a bit...it was 12:12...photo op!!!
Peace! xox

Saturday, February 18, 2012

On the move...

I love it...I hate it...I stress about it...I savour every moment. Moving. The whole process does quite a number on my stress and anxiety and excited to the max levels. When we were first told that we had to move in the beginning of the year it completely stressed me out. We were leaving a few weeks later for Christmas vacation with the family and I was busy, busy creating my gifts for my 7 nieces and nephews...no time to think about where the heck we are going to find a new place to rent. And as if I would want to come home from Texas, late on December 28th only to get our butts in gear to move out on the 31st. Baaah...that would be so gross. Plus we had til March 1st, if needed. But that nagging feeling in the back of my head that kept poking me and saying..."what are you going to do Pam...where are you guys going to live? You have to be out of this place sooooooon!" Ugh...my mind loves to torment me forcing sleepless nights of dreaming about a new home but running around trying to find the right one and being left homeless in the end. Man can our subconscious really kick the heck out of us! I was looking at Craigslist rental ads and every other place I could think of while we were away to see what was available on our little island. And I was really hoping for something that was sweet and beautiful and sunny...and not run down with a hint of musty mold in each room. (Pacific Northwest is wet...especially on the islands...old wooden cabins get moldy...black moldy. not so goody.) Once we were back home and able to check out the available rentals...that is exactly what we were seeing. Run down places for rent. And anything that may have been good came fully furnished and was only short term rentals til June/July. (Oh the summer "residents") It was nearing the end of January and I was beginning to lose my mind. I was even trying to figure out if there was ANY possible way that we could get in the "I am a homeowner" market. But you need $$$ for that! lol

My Knightesses in shining armour came to my rescue. The lovely sister duo, amazing realty team of Carly and Robyn McMahon hooked us up with a new home buyer that bought his home for retirement purposes...which would happen in 10 years. So we could potentially rent this home for that amount of time...that sounds much better than having to move every year or two! Well, thank you Robyn and Carly...not only are you guys awesome women, talented artists, kick ass Realtors...you were the perfect middle women that brought a cool landlord and two fabulous tenants together. And I, for one, am truly excited for this move.

We get possession of the house at the end of the month. But...our new landlord has given us keys so that we have been able to start bringing boxes and furniture over throughout the month of February to make the transition easy peasy. (how cool is that? very cool! we already love our new landlord!) I enjoy doing it this way for a few reasons...1. I can reuse boxes as we (well, mostly Clint and so far our awesome Joelle and her muscles) haul things over and I unpack them...2. unpacking those boxes means that I don't have them to unpack after all is said and done...3. I can start arranging things as we go along and figure out the best way furniture works in certain spaces and yadda yadda yadda...4. I can do work and then reward myself with a bath in my new and perfect ocean view bathtub. (yes, my dream has come true...ocean view home...sweet bliss)...5. current home empties out making it very easy to clean as I go (I always leave a sparkling clean home for the next people...in this case, the house is going up for sale...so a good clean is good for appearance)...6. we can bring Maggie to the new place and get her used to everything (being the old lady that she is...new stuff can give her anxiety...we like to make it easy on her.)

It's all that I can think of these days...complete brain consumption. I am constantly dreaming of how sweet it will be to wake up in the morning and look out to the waves, the mountains and the cool tugboats coming and going and picking up and dropping off their long train of floating lumber. I am so excited to live in this new place. Have a home that is clean and newer and ocean view and deck space for entertaining and flowers and veggies and relaxation. I like new beginnings and that is what a move is for me. New digs, new furniture set up, new feng shui, new everything...I just want the time to go by fast because the butterflies in my stomach are going to start vomiting out of me like a stream of bats out of their dark cave at sundown. hee hee hee.

Here's a few snaps of our new ABODE...YES...I am terribly obsessed!!
 This is the view that I have whilst lying in the tub...Arbutus tree, ocean and mountain range. Plus, I can hear the eagles, sea gulls and cormorants speaking wildly to one another. What a way to relax my aching muscles! ;o)

This is Clint...hanging out on the deck off of the master bedroom (where the tub also is). I can not wait to have our little double swing chair set up and sip glasses of red wine while watching the sunset. Yes...this view is west...perfect sunsets each and every night. Maybe now our friends will visit us! lol

 Like I said...I have been unpacking boxes as I go along. I felt really excited to get my stemware out and start a cupboard. This is in the dining area right next to the living room (open concept), it is above what will be used as a "computer" desk. So I've got cookbooks on the left (kitchen side), reading books on the right (living room side), and party time in the middle! hee hee hee!
Oh how I love to set up a new home... :o)

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Rant time again...

It happens to everyone, every once in a while. (maybe for some it happens far more than they would like...or allow "it" to affect them so greatly) I am speaking of outside negativity...a negative feeling from an external source that brings up burning emotions coming from deep within. Know what I mean?? Allow me to rant...that should explain exactly what I am talking about.

When I log into my blog, I can access a page that will show me "Stats" of the demographics to my blog. I check it out every so often, as I find it interesting...I love how the internet can bring people from ALL over the world together...in a way. ;o) Anyways...a few days ago I logged in and went to that page. I noticed a HUGE increase on the number of people checking it out. I was like..."what the heck? How in the world could that even happen?" Then I hit the "Traffic Sources" button to see what is going on there. I find a link to a page about amputees. And it is no informational page about "amputees", or having amputation or whatever...it is like a "porno" page of amputeeism. I only call it "porno" because it is a site where men (I'm sure for the most part...maybe some women too) can post photos, that they have found on the internet, of women with missing limbs. Eye candy for the people that go to that web site. They find these photos on women's MySpace or Facebook profiles...perhaps pictures on prosthetic constructors web sites...or just googling amputee.
I started to write this blog a week ago...so full of anger about the whole thing. I had to start again...the fire has been brought to a liveable level...for now. ;op It seems that these days, with the world wide web giving access to everything all of the time...I can not hide from the people who love to "use" my images for their obscene fetish. (I find it obscene because of the way they talk about the "amputee" women they locate on the internet, stealing their pics than posting them along with lude comments.) They will claim it is all out of admiration. It's bullshit. Yes, I will be blunt about it. It really infuriates me. These people...they call themselves devotees...have found my photos in the past from a MySpace page I had. Plastered them all about their site..."isn't she pretty?", "can someone find more photos of her?", "is she married?"...and blah, blah, blah. They talk about the "sexy stumps" on the women they hunt for. It's sickening. They are so disrespectful and oblivious to that fact. And I have had to make sure when I cancelled MySpace and entered into the world of Facebook, that my settings were on high privacy. And now...well, they somehow found my blog. I got them to remove my photos from their filthy site. I wish that I could make them take the site down somehow...the stuff they write about all of the beautiful women on there is sickening...they are sickening. But fetishes are not crimes unfortunately. And hurting someone's feelings and belittling them is also not a big deal...so they are allowed their thoughtless and discriminating site. It takes a long time for some women to accept themselves as they are, with their missing limbs. I know...it took me most of my life...I still have the occassional struggle...all because of people not understanding. Sad state of affairs that is. :o(

In the event that some "devotees" are still lingering on my blog...but, I am pretty sure most are gone, I say this anyways...pull your head out of your asses and open your minds just for a second here. One...I am not an amputee. I do not have a stump. I was born missing my right arm. It is how I am supposed to be. So there is no warped and scary story of how this happened. I do not need to be rescued nor taken care of...except for the care and love I receive from my husband, family and friends...all who love me for ME!! Two...I am not an object. I am a human being, born on the same planet as you and everyone else on this Island Earth ...we are all brothers and sisters just trying to live a fulfilling life, no matter how many limbs we have or the colour of our skin or our nationality. It's time to grow up and just love...love and let be. Three...maybe you should get out of your fantasy world and live in the real one. Smell the flowers, smell the crisp clean air that is the end of winter heading into spring. Life is beautiful...quit hiding in your rooms and posting pics of "disabled" women with which you would love to take advantage of. It just isn't right no matter how you explain yourself. Think about that for a moment. We are not animals.

One of the many reasons I decided to start this blog a few years back was so that people could read about the adventures and daily life of a "normal" woman. Yes, I have one arm...but I am exactly as every other woman on this planet. I have hurts and fears, joy and pains, excitement and curiousity, love and sometimes dislikes too. I love to get dressed up for the special occassions. I like to dress down most days in the event of dogs jumping up on me with dirty paws or sitting down on wet sandy beaches to enjoy the sun rays...or, if I am lucky get some gardening done. These things all make me happy. I want to be seen as everyone else...yet still enjoying my own uniqueness. And through my blog, I can show all of that. All the while getting things off of my chest! ;o) 

I am thankful for my life, who I am and who I am evolving into with every year of life that I am blessed with. I am surrounded by many lovely people whom I adore with all of my heart. I love my husband with every breath that my living body has...I will continue to love him in the next life...be that in heaven or in the next round here. ;op (I am pretty sure heaven it will be!) I absolutely love my family and am so grateful for their love throughout all of my life. For, I haven't always been a loveable character...the teen years were troublesome. Yet, my family never turned their backs. And I am so lucky to have as many crazy and amazing friends that I do have...for I am crazy too! I feel that to live a successful life, love is something that needs to be abundant...and I really do love love!

Even blurry love is fine! ;o)
Peace. xo