Thursday, January 20, 2011

Winter Weather Walkies...

This winter seems to have been floating by...not really making itself too bold and out there like winter sometimes can do. You know, those years when winter is all up in your face with high winds and sharp rain. I can say, without doubt, that I pretty much am not a friend to that type of winter...the moody ones. We have had some cold days. (Not Winnipeg winter cold of course. We do not get -35 out here...EVER. The only positive thing I could possibly say about -35 is that it truly makes you feel alive. You feel every pore of your skin. It is quite amazing actually. I think that every person on this globe should feel that pure cold at least once in their lifetime. But that is just my opinion. ;op) Most of those super cold days we have had so far were in the month of technically they are not in winter, that's still fall. There were some pretty crazy chill days out...even during the Christmas rainy days too. But primarily, we have been blessed with amazing weather...lots of sunny days. Getting the vitamin D that we all so desperately need in these usually dark and dreary days. And now the days are starting to get longer again. It is starting to become spring! yeah yeah!

Anyhow, we have been able to enjoy some beautiful beach walks over the past couple weeks...and I just wanted to post some pics. I really love nature...yes I do!! :o)

Massive Pine tree reaching out over the driftwooded beach...water falling off the rocks from rainfall.

Tide is so nice and low that you can see the big brother barnacles...even find rotty fish!

And then of course there is the joy of having the ones you love to share the walk and sun with...yay!


We used to gain all of our knowledge and information from our parents and grandparents...then they made encyclopedias and dictionaries...then there came Wikipedia...and now we get so much of our daily "news and information" through Facebook! What a strange evolution of the transference of knowledge. Imagine if someone from 1650 came to 2011. We have seen an actor in a movie or TV show portray what it could be like. But for real imagine honestly...that person would lose their mind. I don't even know if they could come out of the catatonic shock there mind and body went into in the very first 4 hours they were suddenly spewed into the future 361 years later. Brain explosion. When I was 14 I tried to imagine how cool it would be to see the person on the phone that you are talking to who lives 4 provinces or an ocean away from you...insanity! I wanted to have it so bad, because how cool would that be. And now here it is. It surrounds me in my everyday. Actually, not so much. Not like in the city. In the city everyone has a cel phone. Here...I rarely even have a cel phone ring. Mine rang today...oops! I had it on while in Nanaimo shopping without Clint yesterday...Costco! And it rang today...but wrong number! ha ha! No one calls it...I NEVER use it! Anyhow...what the heck was I even thinking about earlier??

Scrolled up...Facebook. I was given information this past week on Facebook that January 17th is the most depressing day of the year. Wowzas! That is such an incredibly bold statement to make. I guess it has been "researched"...but really? Who and what makes up these kind of news making headlines. Who said it to begin with? And Why? Even if there is some kind of proof or documentation of clinics held talking to people about their depression and what day of the year is the worst... Don't they think that now putting it out there for everyone to read could even cause further depression?? Like now when people read it on yahoo news page, their local newspaper, Facebook or Twitter or whatever source you read from the gazillions of options...they read it and wonder. They wonder why are people so depressed. Then they think about what depresses them in life because they are trying to have empathy for others. It backfires. It has now become their most depressing day of the far. Boo!

Information...we get far too much of it lately.
Maggie says..."WORD y'all!"

Friday, January 14, 2011


I am not sure if it is a word in the English dictionary...but I can say without doubt, 100% guarantee that you will find it in the dictionary of Pam. That is, in my head. But I doubt, if you even somehow got into my head that you would understand anything. Nothing in there has rhyme or reason. It's all over the can't even buy a map because one can not get printed because it would change like every other day...or even more than once a day. I'm not even sure that I could blame this fact on me being "Woman", or that I am a Sagittarius, or that I have major anxiety and ocd and just have this rapidly moving thought process...sloooow down. It is just who I am...insane in the membrane. (Insane in the brain!) This can be a major hindrance for me socially in fact. At times, I am totally listening to what you are saying..but I am not really hearing it. I feel as though I am sometimes going deaf. I need things repeated to me...a Clint. (and others. but mostly him because I am mostly just around him.) I am always either thinking ahead (BIG in the Now!) or I am thinking about what the person just said to me and what it means and if I should take it personally because they don't like me or think I am a fool or that I am not even listening to them anyways so they can call me names or whatever...I don't even know. Like I say...I am a wee bit crazy. As we all are...right???

Anyhow, me and my overactive mind get into trouble sometimes. And the trouble happens when I am feeling destroyed by something someone said to me that day or the day prior and I decide that the best thing for me to do is write them an email and get the scoop. I won't be angry or anything...maybe a little I write an email. And in my mind the email sounds like I would say the point but nice, I think. Often times, it will come back to bite me in my big bum. And I can't even understand how it happened. I explain myself but get so wordy and confusing that my recipient is again lost and feeling their own kind of "blah" from what I write. And I am not even meaning to make someone feel blah because that is the absolute LAST thing I ever want to or imagine doing to someone I care about and love...but those typed black & white letters do it. It's like I expect my friend to read between the lines. See that I am just stating a fact or asking a question about something so plainly but it comes out like paisley. You know...all crazy and all over the place and where does the pattern even lead to...

I am pretty sure that most people today have had this problem for sure at least once in their lifetime. This is all we do. This is how we communicate. By a box that sits on our desk, or a "book" that sits on our lap and let's not forget the texting. It's just the way we talk to one another these days. And don't even get me started on the little, I guess they are an anagram sort of...the lol's and lmao or whatever. Half the time those are impossible to figure out. I blame Tigger for that. He was always saying to Pooh & Piglet...TTFN, Ta ta for now. Thanks Tigger...jump your skinny butt outta here! ;op I find it sad. Even though I am full on and fully immersed in the whole computer thang. I like email. It's easy. You want to say hello to your friend but don't feel like spending half an hour on the email or text them. (I don't really text anymore. I don't really use my cell phone anymore...unless I am in the big stink. Or the little stink {Nanaimo}.) I can spend under 3 minutes typing a little greeting to my friend to see how they are doing and what's up and all that. Then I can go do something else...or email another friend. Or waste some time on Facebook. Ahhhh...computers are sucking the "real" life out of us. But they are so good.Wah. Boo.

Anyhow, my point was to myself, that the next time I have a "problem" with someone or something. Instead of sending a quick email that may come out so wrong and end up hurting some one's feelings when that was not what was meant...I need to call them. That is what everyone should do. Call up your good time or bad. Verbalization maaaan. That's the future.

Anyways...I gots me a bodyguard to watch out for those taking things too seriously...ha ha ha!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Let it snow...let!

I am a prairie girl...proud of it, and will never grow tired of proclaiming so either. I used to love when it snowed and snowed...a little blizzard here and there...and then snowed some more. We would have a blast in the stuff. Our backyard would get 6-8 foot snow drifts along the fence. But it would leave a 3 foot space between the snow and the fence so we could walk along side the super tall crest of snow. My Opi would come over and help the three of us dig tunnels through it...making snow forts. I remember getting all geared up in my snowsuit and boots and head out the back door by myself and play in our snow fort for hours and hours. I would carve little nooks in the walls of our fort and make snow knick knacks to place in them. could be -28 outside..but in my snow fort I was always warm. Sometimes I would be hot and take my hood and scarf off! Snow is very thermal and insulating when you are in it...the Inuit people are no fools. I bet you at this very moment an igloo would be warmer than our's freezing cold in this uninsulated wood box! lol But at least I have a roof over my head. Anyhow...the mass amounts of snow in beautiful Manitoba can be a lot of fun. Tobogganing, cross country skiing, snowshoeing, ice skating on St. Vital Pond, building igloos with your friend in grade 6 who grew up in the NWT and was taught how to. Tons of cool stuff to do.

As much as I love those memories of fun and laughter in the snowy winter days of Manitoba...I also find myself enjoying the soft winter rain of BC. I hated it when I first moved out West. Soooo incredibly dreary and majorly depressing. 33 days no sun (yes! 33 DAYS NO SUN I once suffered through!)...Calgon can NOT take you away from that deep dark depression. Nor does vodka! ;op But, you learn to live through it and still get out there and enjoy the day. Walk to the beach, do some winter gardening, fill all of your bird still get out if you don't mind being a wee bit soggy. So, yeah, I kind of enjoy the rain now that I am a West Coaster. And for the first 6/7 years I lived out in BC, anytime it could hear me complaining from miles away. "What the??" "I moved AWAY from the snow!" "If I want to be in snow I should just be able to go up the mountain...why does it still come to me??" Like as if it is all about me. Ha ha ha!!! Maybe I hated it so much because I missed where I was from. I missed my family and friends. I have a ton of friends out here...even some family...all of whom I am so blessed to have met and have in my life. I love my BC peeps. But, you know, family...numero uno. (besides Clint. He of course is my number one...but it doesn't take from my love for my fam.) Anyhow, blah, blah, blah...what am I even talking about here??

Ahhhh. Snow. It snowed a few days ago here. And it looks so pretty. I love it. I won't be sad when it melts...but I am definitely NOT going to complain about it. I was walking through the 707 Park today with my girlfriend Kate. We were both so enamoured by the beauty of our walking scenery. It was gorgeous. Evergreens covered with big, fluffy looking blobs of snow that make the branches hang low. No grass in sight, unless you can get a peek under a heavy bushy/treed little den area...perfect for the deer in this cold death causing weather. (death to weak deer...not us. Well...I suppose if you were stupid wasted and passed out under a tree right now you will for sure catch hypothermia and die. But we won't think about that.) It's just simply beautiful out. I was upset that I did not have my camera on hand. I saw so many amazing shots...but they are forever in my mind. That's just as good. ;o)

When I got home I eventually went in the backyard and snapped a couple pics. It's funny how the trees are already budding, and have been for the last 2 months...yet it is frozen out there. BC is a weird kind of wonderland I tell ya! And I welcome the snow in it. A little taste of home. :o) Now I'll go to sleep and dream of it...the snow may be gone from the rain in the morning.

Hey...I just's 1/11/11!! Hee Hee! (too bad it's not 11:11 when I publish this!)

Saturday, January 8, 2011

In the mood for another rant...

Which is perfectly fine...we are all allowed to blow off some steam. If we didn't take a moment or two to do this...and just pushed everything way down...deep inside the pits of our stomachs...well, that just causes more pain in the end. So, I feel free to spew it out before it gives me heartburn...or diarrhea! lol Sorry about that...but that is what stress can do! And I prefer the verbal kind anyways. ;o)

Had a dream that brought back some feelings of hurt and inadequacy...feelings I am trying to avoid having. Because honestly, I am exactly who I should be. And I am proud of who I am and what I look like (physically) to others. I ain't a bad looking chick! And I certainly would not think that my having one arm would make me any less attractive. Unfortunately, there are those people in this wonderful world of ours that do think that way. I really am nothing but a run off of a horror movie turned real some. That statement may cause a reaction like "As if...Pam you are so pretty. Why would anyone ever think that? Get real. You are being too hard on yourself. You are unique and perfect exactly how you are." I know...right? Wrong. In my life I have been faced with so much judgement and discrimination. I have not gotten jobs because employers didn't believe me when I said that I was competent and strong enough to do a job. And they even gave my one arm as a reason! I suppose I could have opened a whole can of worms and gone to court to fight for my rights...but why would I WANT to work for someone that has those feelings?? I wouldn't. So I let it go. Kind of...those things can still hurt me today when I am in a I feel so sorry for myself mood.

I have been walking down the street and had people stop, stare, point, put their hand over their mouth in shock and to hold the puke in that they would spew all over me from their absolute disgust with the horror in front of their eyes. I've been in "downtown" Whistler walking around and had assholes stand up from their seat on the bar patio they were getting sloshed at and yell to their friends to look at me. How much more embarrassment can a woman take? And do these people think that they are cool when they are pointing out something so trivial??? Clint always says they stare because they can't believe my beauty...ha, very sweet I guess. Wish it were the case. I do believe though that sometimes people may be shocked to see me walking around with confidence, (sometimes false) my head held up high and seemingly enjoying my day. Other times they probably do think that I am a good looking lady...but how can that be when she has a deformity? Well, it ain't a deformity. This is how I was born. No reason why it happened...I just came out of my mommy's tummy this way. And her and my dad thought that I was a perfect baby girl. Why doesn't the rest of the world? Well the rest of the world sees everything through judging and discriminating eyes. If we do not look like the cookie cutter...what gives us the right to breathe the same air? The Dr's documents from after my birth call me a "poor unfortunate baby" or "this deformed little baby". Wowzas! Thank goodness it is not 1974 anymore. I can not imagine they would still write out those same cruel words.

The truth is...we are all unique and beautiful. Brown, blue, hazel, green or mixed coloured eyes. Blonde, red, brunette, black and mixed coloured hair. Brown, black, white, off white, creamy caramel, reddy brown and a bunch of other beautiful colours of skin. We have different accents, different dialects, different languages, different heritages...different everything! And that is the best part of being a human being if you ask me or a million other people just like me. ;o) The trick is we just have to accept one another for EXACTLY who we all are...and it's pretty easy to do.

Just a quick story...when I was 23, one of my best friends got married. At the reception I was chatting with her little 3 year old cousin, Julia, who was also her flower girl. I was talking to her about me being a flower girl too when I was a little girl. It was a nice and sweet conversation we were having. My friend and her Aunt were right there too. Next question out of her mouth was..."What happened to your arm?" Without a hesitation her mother grabbed her arm and tugged her close and scolded her for asking me that and that you NEVER ask someone something about why they look a certain way or whatever. What a shock to me. I have never felt bad about someone asking me. It's a natural question. Here I am...a super outgoing young lady...enjoying my evening and my friends happiness (short lived) and the festivities of a wedding. And now I have been turned into a monster because of some woman's choice to scare her daughter of "different" people. I saw Julia years later when she was 10 years old. When I came in the door the family welcomed me and my friend. Everyone was happy to see was a family BBQ and I was part of the family. I walk into the kitchen to say hello to the people in there. Julia spots me...turns around and runs over to her mom hiding behind her like the Big Bad Wolf just came over to eat her. Are you serious?? That little incident 7 years earlier at wedding transformed Julia into someone now who is scared of anyone who seems to be unique. How sad is that? I decided to ignore it and went to her little sister who gave me a big hug and asked me to play Ring Around the Rosie...which we did. Julia watching from the door way. Man, that was such an awkward situation for me. I was so intensely angry at Julia's mother and ended up saying so in a polite and respectful way.

Children NEED to ask questions...they NEED to understand everything about life and the people we meet. Don't shush your child when they "embarrassingly" ask out loud in the mall..."mommy, where is that lady's arm?"..."mommy, why is that person in a wheelchair?"... "mommy, what is wrong with that persons face?" Let them ask. I would suggest that the person with the one arm or in a wheel chair or with a burnt face will be happy to explain what has happened. It's our story...we should have the right to tell it to all who are curious. As long as it is a pure curiosity and a yearning to understand. Which is all the children want to know. It's learning life and it's okay. And I for one am okay with the question being put forth so that later on in life that same child feels comfortable around me or others, like me that have a physical uniqueness. It's all good.

All rant of the day. I have to stop wrist is going to fall off!! lol
I had to pull out a summer pic...daisies, ocean, my sunshades and me! xox

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Dans le city again.

Back in the Big Stink we were. And this time...we actually enjoyed ourselves quite a bit. Stayed in a house at Trout Lake Park...just the two of us. Well, we brought Maggie and Wensday with us...nothing like a 4 hour trip via ferry and car with one dog and one cat. Oh yeah, we also had a big painting stuffed in the back seat with Wensday had to sit up front with me...mostly in her cage...she's insane!!!
But she stuck it out...we arrived at the "city" home...and she totally chilled out. It is so awesome that she is a pretty chill cat that. She was surely not always that way. Any time I moved into a new apartment or house she would have a melt down...full on. Panting under couches and chairs and beds for 7-10 days...lurking around the place with this crazy shrieky/chanty/staccato type growl/meow vocal thingy. Quite irritating actually. Just have to ignore her. Since our move to the island...she has chilled and is happy with whatever we put her through. Took her to Tofino with us once too. hee hee!
The house at Trout Lake was awesome. Little one bedroom, one block away from the park. Every morning we would get up and walk around the lake with Maggie. It was extra fun because it was frozen...mostly solid. I don't think I have seen it that way before...quite amazing actually. The ducks and seagulls still come out every day and sit on the water..frozen water. They just hang out. And everybody else still comes out to jog or walk their dogs...just a big old playground. Nice to be near the water in a park in the middle of the city. As island as you can get actually...I loved it. First time back there in nearly three years where it felt so sweet. The sweetness was also because we didn't have to ask someone else to stay at their place and inconvenience their time. It was us in our place to do what we needed and wanted to do and when we wanted or needed to do it. City perfection. Still having a bit of time to be able to chill with a friend or two. Even if it was a one hour squeeze in. :o) It was a good trip to the city. In fact, I almost was going to see if we could stay one more night. Ha ha ha! I must admit to still having some affection for good old Vancouver. Old Lady...I kind of "heart" you.
Anyhow, the city was good. We got to spend some Christmas/New Years with Clint's brother and wife...and her parents and niece. It was fun. Got to work on a idea of a good time. I loved it! ;o) It's great to have the "second family" you are blessed with through marriage. I think it is one of the greater things in life. I always dreamed of getting married and having more brothers and sisters and parents in laws. I do not have parents in laws...Clint's dad died almost 9 years ago now...he still has a step mother. But we NEVER talk. She has her life. She doesn't see the necessity in having more family to love and love her back...strange eh? I'm glad that my parents love Clint. They really do...and it feels so incredible. I truly see it as a blessing. Not everyone will love everyone else. We are all so very different. And believe you parents and Clint are as black and white as can be. But they all love each other so very much...and I LOVE that!!!
So...back to the city. It was great. Had Pho the first yummy...beef noodle soup...can't go wrong if you go to Pho Quyen at Fraser & 23rd. Best EVER!!!!! The food, the things to see...Ikea...ha ha...we had an excellent time. It made me appreciate the things I first loved when I first lived in Vancouver. I am just so grateful to live on Gabriola now though. This is definitely where it's at...if you ask me...and it's only my opinion that matters! ;op Paradise island...I don't think we'll leave.
Soooo...dans le grand city de Vancouver we enjoyed the frozen lake...

And even the road trip home...
you know...the kids...they got along as best they could. It was a really fun trip!! :o)

Looking forward to what the rest of 2011 has in store for us...the adventures and the pleasantries.
Peace out...xox