Thursday, January 26, 2012

What is stopping me???

Really...what IS stopping me from doing what I want to do each and every day? I am a person who believes in having (and wanting to have) a clean home, eating good meals and spending as much time as possible with her man. (of course, this is merely talking about the times when I do not have "obligations" other than just being at home and doing that thang...the home thang. I love my home time.) I love all the moments I am able to spend at home...I am definitely as much a home body as I am a social butterfly. I love being home and having all of my comforts around me...including Clint, Maggie and Wensday. But lately I feel like I could...maybe should be doing so much more. Not even so much lately, but I have pondered a whole heck of a lot in the past year of getting involved as much as possible in doing creative things in my life. A big part of me spending more time than usual "a ma casa" is because I try to stay away from anything that could possibly cause me a day, or days of pain. For real. I have had to stop doing as much "physical" things as I once would have. And that is a HUGE bummer. I am a strong and independent woman...I pride my self on that very fact. But this left arm of mine has a whole different story...she wants to take it easy. She wimps out on me and then decides to take a few days off of work to "rest up". That does not bode well with me. But I really like her and would like to keep her around AND useful...for at least the rest of my earthly I do good to her. I take it much as I possibly can...being OCD and all. Anyways...I like to keep busy. I always have. And ever since I have had the joy of ceramics (playing and creating, using clay) in my life, I feel like a newly designed human being. I feel like there is so much inside of me that truly needs to come out of me...I just need to have a lump of clay set in front of my face daily so that I can get into the habit of spewing it all out. I will never be the one who creates some magnificent, fabulously unique and never seen before work of art...yet, I feel that I will make something that brings a smile and maybe even a giggle to my mouth and the others that see my "creation". 

I love cuteness. Cute Bambi and Thumper bounding through the thicket, side by side, sniffing the flowers and coming nose to nose with...a sniffing, Flower...the skunk! (I LOVE that scene!) I admit to being a Disney child. I grew up watching Disney cartoons and all of them. My first ever movie, in the theatre was "The Rescuers"...I don't even really remember being there...I was barely 3 years old. (my first Drive-"In movie was "The Empire Strikes Back"...I was 5. I TOTALLY remember that...sitting in the back seat of the Dart with my big brother, huddled under our cozy blankies.) And since then, I think I have pretty much seen every Disney cartoon...except for the ones made in the last 10 years. I have some major renting to do obviously. I love cartoon movies that have animals that talk and imaginations that come to life. Nothing wrong with good old fashioned fantasies. I would love to be 4" tall and hop from mushroom to mushroom and communicate with the squirrels in the forest...wouldn't you??? Rub a lamp and out pops a genie wanting to grant me any three wishes that I could come up with...oooooh...they would have to be good. ;o)

For all of these reasons and more, I am addicted to playing avec le clay. Spending time at Feedlot Studios and creating things I dream up. I have not yet reached the skill level that I would like to be at in the creative workings with a slab of mud. It isn't as easily brought to life as I thought it would be. Nor do I spend enough time trying to do the things I really want to create...I need to get out of my house more and step in the creative world that is Feedlot. Wondrous stuff come out of there. When you stick a creative Graphic/Web Designer (Bryan McCrae) with a genius Ceramicsmith ({Mariko McCrae}I have no idea if there is a proper name besides..."oh Magical One") you get the Feedlot Studios...a place where creativity does nothing but feed your brain and senses and you leave giddy and relieved. Seriously. I can not say enough about my love of ceramic indulgence and the wonderful Mariko bringing it over to Gabriola Island for all of us Islanders to feast upon.

Here I sit and rave about the blessings I have when it comes to a creative outlet in which I have always dreamed of. And yet, I spend far too much time in front of this box in front of me...I love the computer...I love the access to the world that it allows me. I love that everything that I need to get done, I can do on this thing. But I also love the fact that I can turn it off, get in my car and take a 6 minute drive to Feedlot and enjoy some great conversation, outbursts of laughter and some amazing creativity with everyone involved. (maybe even some hot sake!) What is stopping me from doing this more? I can do all that I want in life. I don't have to be scared that I am not good enough, as creatively blessed as others or even scared that no one will like what I have made. As long as I like it...that should be all that matters to me...right??? Right. 

It's okay to do what makes us happy. That is kind of what life is all about.

My latest "Bathtub Tray" just came out of the kiln. It is for my friend Genni. I am really happy with how it turned out. It's soooo cute!!!! ;o)

Peace out!!! ;o)


  1. Oh you...

    I love the term Ceramicsmith.

    You just keep working those magic 5 fingers you got and you will go have already come so far.