Thursday, August 16, 2012

I am NOT a schlepp...

I have just been way, over the top, extremely busy these past few weeks. Yup, that is right. "The Cult of Brother XII" musical has been eating much of my time. It is like having a part time job...which is a heck of a lot for me. When you suffer with chronic pain, it is difficult to get up to much...something I have definitely learned this summer. Which, on one hand is a VERY important lesson...good for me to know my limits and stick within it. And, on the other hand (not that I have the other hand to look at...ha ha haha!) it has taught me that I really can not do these things anymore. That is the sad and honest truth...that makes me cry. For real. Living with disability sucks big time. It is not as most people figure..."Oh you're lucky you don't have to work". I can not even count on all of my fingers and toes how many times I have heard that phrase. And it's a crock of 'you know what'. When you can't work, can't hold down a job because you are physically unable to, it makes you feel useless. (well, it makes me feel useless) Like, I am not a part of society because I can not contribute like everyone else. It is no picnic to feel that way. Plus the fact that all that I do even at home to take care of myself and my animals and my husband takes so much strength that I have none for anything else. I AM very lucky to have a husband that takes REALLY good care of me. Thank goodness he is a good cook and likes to help with the cleaning. Without life would be way too difficult...I'd be a shut in...spending all time in the tub and hardly eat. Yikes!

Anyways...right now I am feeling like I am on a teeter totter with my feelings. I am super stoked for tonight...opening of the Musical at the Dodd Narrows room in the Nanaimo Conference Centre. How exciting!! I have not done theatre since High School...that was a VERY long time ago! hee hee. My other feelings are almost total despair...low to the lowest. My realization this summer...I can not be part of something fabulous like this ever again. I do not have the physical wellness to do so. The other day I actually was frightened that my arm was going to stop working...that is very scary. Very scary indeed. So, for now, I am going to enjoy every bleeding second of our 6 performances and soak up all of the fun and store it in my memory banks of joy. I am blessed to be working alongside some top notch actors, an amazing talented artistic director and a fab director who has been fun to watch direct. It's a long process getting from first read throughs of script to the performance...I have loved every minute of it. And I am grateful to have been a part of it all. (I can not get depressed about is just the path that my life is on and it just requires another bout of acceptance on my part. ugh.)

As for my 12:12 project....I am still taking pics daily. I just haven't had the finger/wrist strength to get to typing much. Hence the massive pause in my blog posts. I got to just start doing vid blogs or something. I am a video taker anyways. My last vid I spoke about what I just wrote can see me whine here.
I'll add a few pics now...I stopped at July 19th!!! Boy, I am waaaaay behind! ;op
Friday July 20 12:12 pm. Watching Clint work on one of his sandwich boards for HTF Creations.
Saturday July 21 12:12 pm Brother XII rehearsal...creepy tango scene! (you gotta see it!)
Sunday July 21 12:12 pm Me, looking exhausted waiting for Clint to drive me guessed it...rehearsal! ;o)
Monday July 23 12:12 pm Coffee at Artworks...saw this amazing pitcher. Made by fabulous potter Vincent Fe of Mudge Island.
Tuesday July 24 12:12 pm Our friend Rick stopped over for 23 hours whilst on a bike journey on the islands and into the interior. I think he is still riding somewhere today! ;o)
Wednesday July 25 12:12 pm Helping out Antony this day. Tea time...was loving his yellow roses.
Thursday July 26 12:12 pm Getting our walk and Larry.
Friday July 27 12:12 Brother XII's cello. (rehearsal!)
Saturday July 28 12:12 pm Rehearsal again...thank goodness I have sweet JoJo with me! ;o)
Sunday July 29 12:12 pm beach walkies! my favourite part of each day. ;o)
Monday July 30 12:12 pm Who is this cutie? Larry wants to get to the beach! Ball time!
Tuesday July 31 12:12 pm Pretty Calla Lily at Antony's place. Flowers are so amazing to me!

I got to stop there. My hand has gone numb and very cold. Wah! Opening night for Brother XII tonight...yippeeeeeee!!! I need a vacation. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Peace!

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