You know you are getting older when you start to say things that remind you of comments your mother and grandmother said to you back in the day. Like..."why are you wearing a top that shows your mid-riff...do you want the boys to think you are not a nice a girl?" Or..."you shouldn't wear a skirt too short, your panties will show when you bend over." And of course you feel like they are so old and out of touch because this is exactly what is in style at the moment. "Everybody is wearing shirts like this mom! I have a nice tummy, I should show it off while I still can!" And yes...I DID want the boys to take notice of me. They never really did back then anyways. When you have low self esteem it shows off like a big fat red with a white centered zit in the middle of your forehead. Everyone can see it...but no one even talks about it.
I was always a HUGE Madonna fan...ever since grade 4. I totally can still hear my mother complaining to me and wanting me to not listen to her music or watch her videos. "She dresses like a hooker...do you want to look like a hooker?" Of course I don't want to look like a hooker. But I do want to look cool and like an outrageous pop star...what kid doesn't? Back in the 80's Madonna was seen as a sort of "bad" influence because of the way she dressed or writhed around on the floor like a cat in heat in her "like a virgin" video. She looked pretty cool if you ask anyone who was a pre-teen or teen or young adult at the time. We ALL wanted to be Madonna. Well...I wanted to be any hot woman that I saw on TV or in a music video. I wanted to be anyone but the plain old boring Pam that I was. I didn't feel pretty enough...or even complete enough. Having one arm made me feel like half of a girl. So not what I was or am today...but you know young girls and their constant battle with low self esteem. But back then...I thought I was the only girl that hated myself...I just wanted to be sexy.
Sexy at 13??? Why would I even want that? Looking back now, I wish I would have just enjoyed being the innocent and sweet young girl that I was and not wanting to be someone different. I did enjoy my childhood very much. I always had a fun time whatever I did...and MOST of it was good, clean fun...up until...let's say 15. That's when it seems to get a little tougher for girls. You so want to be grown up and mature. We started getting into the bars at 15...borrowing older girls' id. (by the time picture id came to Manitoba I was already the legal age of 18) So we started to want to dress older and sexier. Our role models were Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, Claudia Schiffer, Cindy Crawford and always Marilyn Munroe even in her grave she was STILL the hottest ever. For role models...they were pretty good actually. Not too racy when I look back at it. But for the times I guess it was.
I look at who our young girls have to look up to now...Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Beyonce. Yeesh! They all go around in their underwear. What's next?? Will they be on stage buck nude and having sex right in front of our eyes?? Those were my thoughts on Saturday night. We stayed in from all of the Halloween festivities this weekend and watched movies. After Sleepy Hollow was over SNL came on. Haven't watched that show in years...so we thought we'd watch it and see if it's still a funny show. The musical guest was Rihanna. Now, I totally think that she is an incredibly talented young woman. Her voice is golden...and she is a major babe...total package right? Honestly, she made me feel sick and sad. It was the way she was dressed...this is why I feel like my mother...and I ain't even a mother...yet. ;op Rihanna was wearing a pair of sequined granny panties, a bandanna tied around her huge titties that looked like it was about to burst off of the balloons underneath and of course 5" stilettos. Wow, classy. Not only was this super charged hooker/stripper outfit her costume for the performance but she preceded to hump the mic stand as she sang. I was actually revolted and started feeling sorrow for all of the young girls out there who look up to her as their role model. I have been noticing a change in the way the young girls are dressing in the last 5-10 years. Even in the pre-teen girls...like ages 8 to 10 year olds. They dress like hoochie mommas. And if they are leaving the house in these clothes...not only does that mean that their mothers are allowing them to go out looking like this...it means that their mothers are actually purchasing them these outfits that scream "I want to get laid!" But they don't even know what that means. They just want to wear it because their idols wear these clothes. And we wonder why we have a rampant problem with pedophilia?? I am not defending pedophiles...but c'mon parents...let your children be children. We have such few years to be innocent. Teach your children to enjoy being a kid...playing at parks...having slumber parties and pillow fights. Children are having sex at earlier ages these days. Someone has to figure out how to stop this before it escalates even more. All we can do is teach our children what is right. The world keeps evolving...sexy is changing big time. It's not even sexy anymore...it's just pure sex. That's fine for adults...not for kids. I wish the recording artists that are the "big"pop stars would see this too. Miley...I am putting you in this bracket too. Enjoy being a teenager for crying out loud! Argh!!!!!
Do I sound like an old lady? Well, if I do...that's my issue I guess. I am an 80 year old 35 year old! ha ha ha! I don't care. I have my eyes wide open for the first time in my life I feel. I finally understand what my mom and Omi and Oma were saying to me. Wish I got it back then. And I will teach my daughter (If I ever have one) these lessons...she may or may not listen. But I will speak my mind...in a loving and encouraging way.
Sexy is a great pair of jeans and comfy yet curve hugging top. I don't need to wear my heels and panties out to get groceries (Lady Gaga) to attract people to me. I just need to be me and look good doing it. That IS sexy!