Rant...

I like to see my friends and acquaintances and even strangers be happy and excited hearing good news for themselves or enjoying good fortune or whatever the joy is about. It makes me feel warm inside my heart to know that some one's life at that very moment is on the up and up. They are precious moments that need to be cherished and shared with others to rejoice together. Happy moments are da bomb baby! What bugs me more than ever are people who like to steal that happiness from others. These are people who clearly are very unhappy in their own life and want everyone else to be as miserable as them. I would like to see those people happy too...but when they want to "shit" on other people's rainbows over and over again, I just want to kick them over that rainbow so they hit their thick skull on that iron pot of gold. (gold removed of course...just a heavy, hurty pot) I have known people like this my whole lifetime. I even had a "best friend" (I will call her Lilac) when I was younger like this. Lilac hated it when something went good for someone else. So she would actually try and bring you far down while you were up. I learned to NEVER call her when I was excited for something...it was the same for the opposite. I would never call her when I was sad, as you could hear the huge smirk on her face as you were pouring your heart out. Sadness of others made her feel happy...or maybe satisfied in some greedy, needy way that another human was down in the dumps. I think she was just never happy...never tried to find her happiness even, so she lived in her own bell jar of depression, self loathe and hate for everyone and everything else. When I look back, I see that the only reason I was her friend from age 14-27 was because we had fun together...like party fun. She loved to dance and drink and be wild and crazy...so did I...so we got along just fine back then. I was young and naive and in my own world of self loathe and stuff...but I always was happy in a way. I am just a positive upbeat kind of gal and have been able to keep my inside feelings,for the most part, to my self. (although I am sure at times it came out through my actions that my parents at least could see.)

Anyways...I am feeling super irritated right now at a person who is a "friend" to Clint and I. The quotations used are because I have a hard time calling him that because he is exactly like Lilac. He has tried and succeeded in getting me angry with Clint...starting something up between us in a sneaky vindictive way. We have been nothing but good to this guy too. It makes me feel angry, but at the same time sad for him because he is in his own world of sorrow about his bad health issues. So he lashes out by stirring up trouble for others. I have been planning a HUGE surprise party for Clint's 40th coming up...tomorrow. This dude was fully aware of the party being a surprise. What does he do? He sees Clint in the Village parking lot last week and says to him..."What is this don't tell Clint party all about?" WTF?!? Are you kidding me dude?? Thankfully I was able to poo poo the whole thing and make Clint think I was just trying to plan something neat but was unsure of what was happening yet. (Clint still has no idea of the fun night ahead) He did this to take the fun out of the whole thing for Clint. Who does that kind of stuff?? I feel so freakin' over the top angry. Can ya tell? I wrote him an email asking why the heck he would do something so stupid. Called him out on it and he doesn't even have the balls to reply. ARGH!!!!!!

I have to let it go so it doesn't eat me up. I thought of uninviting him to the party even. But then I think that is cruel, so I don't. I just find people like that so incredibly frustrating and rude and disrespectful and almost worthless. But then I remember that we all have demons that can hold us back and allow us to do mean and bad things. It is not them...it is their sickness. And I have to still be there to perhaps help him out of his black hole. But dude makes it really hard to care. People like him will find themselves very lonely one day if they don't change their attitudes. Argh!

The party will still happen...Clint will still be MAJORLY surprised at what is happening. Like blow his freakin' mind actually. So to all the haters and ruiners out there...man/woman up...don't be a douche bag...figure yourself out so that you can be a part of life. Live, love and laugh!