Saturday, April 2, 2011

J'ai une bouche tres gross!

Whether or not my french grammar is correct or not...the meaning is still there. I have a big mouth on me sometimes. I can be all sarcasm...and that can really tick the people off. I am not trying to upset anyone...ever. I just have a very raw sense of humour at times. I will laugh at the most High School talking about farts and poo and disgusting things like that. Yes, I know, VERY immature. I just can't help it. I am just a big kid...stuck in a getting wrinklier everyday body. ;op And I am okay with that. For the most part I guess. Occassionaly I feel a pang of horror at myself. Just like..."Pam, you are a fool." Which I can be heard murmuring to myself once in a while. You know how it is...something funny is in your head that makes you sort of chuckle. But then when it spills out of your mouth for all ears around you to actually comes out bad...or insensitive...or completely out of context. They call it "Foot in Mouth Disease", I am completely afflicted by this. I need to try and bite my tongue far more than I already do. Two recent examples...

A friend of mine from High School who I was friends with on Facebook updated her status one day to read..."Has learned that vinegar is good for a bad sunburn." Very interesting I thought to myself...I had no idea. Cool! But my comment on her post went like this..."Oh yeah, rub it in that you are basking in the sun and consequently have a sunburn. Just trying to make us jealous eh?" In my mind it was a funny thing to write. I enjoyed reading her updates and checking out her photos and jet setting lifestyle online. She travels lots for work. And it was cool to still know what is going on in her life even though we NEVER see each other anymore. We were tight in High School...lost contact after grad. Facebook brought us back. Yes, it's all such teary and emotional stuff that FB brings out in people. LOL Anyhow, she wrote back saying that it was just a tidbit of info she was sharing and was not saying anything else exclamation mark, exclamation mark! I got that post in my inbox. I went to go on her page to say it was a joke...but she deleted me as a friend. WTF??? I sent her an email explaining that I was just being my typical dumb assedness kind of gal and that I meant no harm by it. No response. I concluded in another email to her that I truly am sorry for upsetting her and that I loved following her exciting life and that I wish her all of the best. No response. That's fine. I mean it really is fine. Why do I need to keep track of her. We haven't actually talked in real life since 1992. And three years of being friends on FB does not re-kindle any type of friendship that we used to have. So I shouldn't really feel bad...but I still sort of do. Ack!!! I am on my way to leaving the world of FB once again...this time maybe permanently. What a crazy site. The emotions that too much info causes. Insanity!

Yesterday...April Fool's Day. I spent most of the day at home and the vet's office. The night before I noticed Maggie's pee was dark like beet juice. Freaked me out like mad I tell you. The vet here was NOT taking after hour emergency calls. Nice eh? Bogus!!! So it took me about an hour or so to actually get to speak to a vet in Nanaimo that wouldn't charge me for a phone conversation. He advised me just to make sure I get to our vet first thing in the morning. I then asked him if her bloody pee had anything to do with being attacked by another dog last week. (She has two large bite wounds) He immediately asks if I went to the vet with that and I said no because we cleaned and have been keeping it clean everyday and it's healing as it is itchy to her now. He was pissed and just said "Just go to your vet first thing"! Well...I barely slept that night. Tossing and turning and getting up to pet Maggie. I was crying thinking she was going to die or have to be put down. Two urine samples later (I have a new talent...collecting dog's pee) we found out that Maggie's white blood cell count is through the roof as she has an infection. The blood in her pee is just from the red blood cells bursting because of everything going on. Poor Maggie. Well, $145 later and some anti-biotics she is on the road to recovery. ;o) All right...anyways...April Fool's! All day peeps on FB were making their statuses something crazy about themselves so that they could get a good reaction out of people. I read so many all day long that I thought I should do one that just blows people's minds. At first I thought about saying me and Clint are splitting and I am moving to Texas to live with my parents. Nah. Then I though it would be funny to post that Maggie passed away and that we are sad. The second I pressed 'Share' I felt terrible, but left it on to see who would say something. Within 20 minutes I had to give the jig up. I was thinking I was cursing myself by saying something so rotten. I would be a mess if Maggie actually DID die. Don't want to mess with kharma. As predicted, most of my friends did not think it was a funny joke. And it really isn't. Maggie is our special Angel and I don't want her to leave yet. She is I know I don't have tons of time left with her...but I sure don't want any time taken away that is left. Love you Maggie May.
(Sleeping off the PeanutButter/Anti-B concoction)

If you know me...and love me...please accept my awful humour. If I tick you off, tell me. I can take it. I may act like a 16 year old...but I really am 36! I can take it down a notch. ;op Peace!


  1. I still laugh at potty humour too. When we were kids my brother and I cry-laughed thinking about what it would be like if the functions of one's butt and mouth were reversed. When I think about it now, I still cry-laugh. That was some A material.

    Anyway, I'd rather live in your fun-loving head than in Miss Uptight-humourless's sour one. She will grow old with ugly scowl lines while you will be a joyful grannie with fabulous laugh lines.

  2. ha! you are funny!
    and yeah, we laugh about that potty humor ("i'm gonna pee in your face..."). but yes, you say inappropriate things that get you into trouble too.
    hello... who'd you get it from?!?!? daddy-o of course!
    my advice to you... GET OFF OF FACEBOOK!!!
    ha ha ha ha! do it now! i told you already! do it! :)
    it will save you from the anxiety.
    love you... all of you!